Did you get a chance to review the materials?
Sarah (let’s call her that) asked.
No, sorry. Crazy week. Just bring me up to speed.
Two minutes into the meeting they had requested, and it was already going sideways. Sarah pivoted, condensing her preparation while watching them glance away from the camera. Then their phone appeared on screen.
Sorry, this is incredibly rude.
They started typing. Mid-presentation. While she was still talking.
When there’s no good move
Five minutes later:
Sorry, this is rude.
More typing.
Every response felt wrong.
Call them out and risk the only opening she had.
Stay silent and accept being invisible.
Ask them to focus and sound like she was parenting a potential client.
At twenty-seven minutes:
Send me more details on this
they said, already reaching to disconnect.
Sarah closed her laptop and felt the frustration land. Sharp, useless, and with nowhere to go.
The meeting that actually mattered
What saved her was this: she hadn’t relied on a single point of access.
The following week, Sarah met with this person’s boss. They hadn’t coordinated it. She’d built that relationship months earlier, quietly and deliberately.
This time, the difference was immediate. The person had done the reading. They were prepared. They were engaged.
Sarah was different too.
She’d paid attention during the disaster. She’d noticed the phrases the rude executive used while half-present: “streamlined approach,” “quick wins.” She shortened her original presentation and led with the three priorities that had surfaced between text messages.
She knew what mattered because she’d been listening even when they weren’t.
The conversation was everything the first meeting should have been.
The lesson most people miss
If Sarah had only had that first meeting, it would have been a complete waste. Months of relationship building reduced to frustration and self-doubt.
Because she’d built multiple ways in, one person’s behaviour couldn’t shut the whole thing down.
This is where judgement under pressure starts to matter more than performance.
What actually helps in situations like this
Not everything is salvageable. But not everything is pointless either.
What helped Sarah was:
Not depending on one person for access. Multiple relationships meant she wasn’t hostage to someone who didn’t want to be there.
Using a bad meeting as reconnaissance. The distraction revealed priorities she could later use precisely.
Not letting their disrespect dominate her attention. The anger was understandable. It was also information, not a plan.
This is the kind of situation people often bring to executive coaching. Not because they don’t know they were treated poorly, but because they want to work out what to do next without burning political capital.
When you can’t control the room
Sometimes you’re not in the meeting you think you’re in. Sometimes you’re there because someone was told to “just take the call.”
Your job isn’t to rescue that moment. It’s to work out what, if anything, it can give you.
Sarah couldn’t make that executive care. But she could decide how to use what their indifference revealed.
The meeting you’re having isn’t always the one that matters.
Sometimes it’s just expensive market research.
Image from Pexels: Noelle Otto
