Nobody ever wants to tell someone they smell. Yet the other day at work, Lisa (not her real name), a Masters of Organisational Psychology placement student working with me, found herself in exactly that situation.
One of the reception staff at her part-time workplace arrived smelling strongly of body odour. Other staff had already started whispering and keeping their distance. She could see how quickly things were heading in the wrong direction.
Doing nothing wasn’t really an option.
The problem with not saying anything
When situations like this are left alone, a few things tend to happen.
The person doesn’t know why people are avoiding them.
Colleagues deal with it indirectly, through gossip or discomfort.
Customers notice, and quietly decide not to stay.
Avoiding the conversation doesn’t prevent harm. It just spreads it around.
What Lisa did
Lisa pulled the staff member aside and said:
Can I speak to you privately for two minutes? I know this will be uncomfortable, but I need to tell you that you have an odour.
He went bright red and said:
Oh my gosh. Do I?
Lisa replied:
Yes. I’m telling you because if it were me, I’d want someone to tell me. You could see if one of the male staff has deodorant, or wash up in the bathroom. I’ll cover reception while you do.
And then she stopped.
Why this worked
Lisa didn’t try to soften the message or wrap it in explanations.
She took him aside. She named the issue directly. She acknowledged the discomfort.
She offered a practical way forward, then ended the conversation.
Nothing more was needed.
The issue was addressed without embarrassment being prolonged or the situation becoming heavier than it already was.
If you’re facing something similar
Most awkward conversations go badly not because leaders lack the words, but because they let the conversation run too long.
People over-explain. They justify themselves. They keep talking in an attempt to make it feel better, when in fact it makes it worse.
If you’re dealing with something you’ve been putting off, don’t look for the perfect wording. Work out how you’ll:
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name the issue plainly
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keep the conversation short
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finish it once the point has landed
These are judgement calls leaders make all the time. They’re the kinds of situations people often bring to executive coaching, not because they don’t know what needs to be said, but because they want to say it without causing unnecessary damage.
Handled well, difficult conversations don’t linger. People sort the issue out, dignity stays intact, and work continues.
Image by Rodrigo_SalomonHC from Pixabay
