People leadership is shaped by context. Leaders work with experienced people, informal power and histories that affect how decisions land. What helps is noticing what is actually happening and responding in ways that hold over time.
This is often when leaders look for executive coaching, not for answers, but for help thinking clearly about what will and won’t help.
Back when I was first registering as a psychologist in the late 1980s, my supervisor said to me:
One thing they never mention in any leadership books is that leaders are people first.
Stopped me in my tracks at the time. It had never occurred to me, but she was right.
Why good people leadership looks different in practice
Formal authority is rarely enough on its own to get things done.
It’s about inspiration, purpose, collaboration and accountability. But, as many leaders will tell you, that’s easier said than done. Many employees still don’t feel heard at work and some would rather leave than raise concerns.
Why attunement matters in leadership
This is why skillfully attuning to the people issues and mastering your human-centered skills as a leader matters in practice.
Why relationships complicate leadership
It’s challenging to be attuned because different relationships evoke different feelings. They meet different needs. They are complex and subtle. And they don’t stay still as we continuously adapt to each other.
Plus, as a leader:
- You’re stretched.
You’re just trying to get through the workload, drive performance, and lead complex change with no guarantees. Yet attunement requires you set your own needs aside when you’re with others. - You’re not a mind reader.
Everyone is different and communicates differently. What should you pay attention to?
What’s not being said? - You think you’re right.
You might be. But awareness of your biases and assumptions would improve your judgement. - You’re not being taken seriously.
You raise issues but you’re not having the impact and influence you expect. It takes more effort to meet the needs of others when your own aren’t being met. - You thought you were doing everything right.
People will forgive a lot when your heart is in the right place, but there are limits.
Having a place to talk it through with someone outside the system can prevent unnecessary escalation or withdrawal.
Why caring still matters
You might be thinking along the lines of ‘I’m no good at this people stuff’ or ‘I’ll never get this right’. But remember:
- you’re a person first and there’s no such thing as perfect.
- there’s no such thing as ‘right’ either.
Instead, let’s take a leaf out of Donald Winnicott’s book. He was a British paediatrician and psychoanalyst who, in 1953, introduced the concept of the “good enough mother”. He noticed that babies and children do better when their mothers fail them – not in major ways like neglect or abuse, but in manageable ways. In other words, a good enough parent is a good parent.
This idea brought relief to parents everywhere. The ordinary devoted parent has sound instincts and is all that any child needs.
Being sufficiently attuned gives your people an opportunity to thrive
It’s a relief for leaders to know that they have sound instincts too. The idea isn’t to be perfect when it comes to mastering your human-centered skills at work. There’s no such thing. The idea is to be a good enough leader. That’s what you’re aiming for. Like a good enough mother but for working adults.
The idea is to be sufficiently attuned to meet the needs of your people to a good enough extent so that they feel safe and know that you’ve got their back. When you can do that for them, they have an opportunity to thrive.
Over time, this becomes less about individual effort and more about whether aligned teams actually exist.
Image by ParentiPacek from Pixabay
