Peter (not his real name), founder and managing director of an IT company, had a hunch.
The numbers weren’t stacking up. Results were disappointing, yet everyone was telling him things were fine. He trusted the data. Things clearly weren’t fine.
When he asked for the real story, he kept hearing the same thing. Nothing’s wrong. Everything’s fine.
Nobody would say why.
Peter cared about working relationships and had always tried to be a good listener. So the disconnect was confusing and frustrating. Why were people holding back?
That’s when he brought me in to help surface what wasn’t being said and make it discussable. That’s a brave move. When people aren’t telling you the truth, there’s usually a reason.
Leadership can be lonely at the top. But not always. Not when you improve how you listen.
Listening beyond the words
At senior levels, listening isn’t just about hearing what’s said. It’s about noticing what’s not said, and why.
That starts with attention.
Not the performative kind, but the kind where you put your own agenda to one side long enough to really register what’s happening in the room. Tone. Hesitation. What people gloss over. What they soften. What they avoid altogether.
Good listening isn’t passive. It’s an active, deliberate state of readiness. You’re listening for meaning, not just content.
And that takes effort, especially when you’re the one with authority.
Sensitive information needs careful handling
Peter wanted the business to improve, and he knew that meant he had to as well.
That was a good place to start. But the work required care.
People had trusted me with information they didn’t feel safe raising directly. My job was to respect that trust, while also feeding back what Peter needed to hear in a way he could actually stay open to.
One of the key messages was confronting for him:
He listens, but he doesn’t always hear.
Peter struggled with that. He’d asked for honesty. He believed people liked him. What was he missing?
Why it’s different when you’re the leader
When you’ve been in charge for a long time, it’s easy to forget how much weight your role carries.
Peter had final say over people’s employment, opportunities, pay and conditions. That power difference doesn’t disappear just because you’re approachable. It shapes what people feel safe to say.
Peter had promised himself he’d share the feedback and what he planned to do about it with the team. When it came time, he hesitated. He told me it felt premature. He was still “working on it”.
That wasn’t enough.
If people are brave enough to speak honestly, leaders need to be brave enough to respond, even imperfectly. We’re never finished. There’s always more to work on.
With time, Peter did share the feedback and what he would do differently. Not defensively. Not performatively. Just clearly.
Listening is rarely wasted
Listening at this level isn’t about being liked. It’s about respect.
It shows people they matter. It signals that speaking up is worth the risk. And it keeps leaders connected to what’s actually going on, not just what they’re told.
The alternative is familiar: underperformance, silence, and a leadership team slowly cut off from reality.
Peter, and leaders willing to listen this way, have my respect.
Image by CESAR AUGUSTO RAMIREZ VALLEJO from Pixabay
