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He played effortlessly. From Bach to Beethoven. I was so close that I could even see the smudged fingerprints on the black Steinway & Sons. What got me was the occasional smile that came across his face as he played. It was like he too was an audience to the music. And so, it was a joy to see Sir Andras Schiff play this weekend. Not only is this Grammy award-winning concert pianist a master of his craft, he so clearly loves his work. I guess that makes it easier to get up every morning and play for about an hour before breakfast, as I’ve read he does. That, along with the countless hours of scales, arpeggios and sections of sonatas I can only imagine he repeatedly works on until mastery. Not that you ever arrive. Mastery is always a work in progress. You don’t become a concert pianist by sitting down at the piano and playing for hours on end. Ever tried that? If you have, you’ll know what a frustrating waste of time that can be. Like Anders Ericsson, the expert performance psychologist recommends, you have to work out what to learn, and then spend the hours learning

Aunty Esther was old and blind by the time I knew her. She was one of my Nana’s older sisters. And every year when Boronia comes into season, I buy a bunch (like I did this weekend) and think of her. It was her favourite flower. For many years I was spared her story and how there’s more than one way to be blind. You see, Esther was married once… to a man with another wife. As soon as she found out she left him. Heartbroken. And she didn’t re-partner. And that got me thinking about integrity. Doing the right thing. Doing what you say you’ll do. Being accountable to someone else usually helps us step up and honour our word. But what about your integrity to you? It’s easy to turn a blind eye when you let yourself down. Pretend it doesn’t matter or that you’ll do it tomorrow. And let yourself believe that nobody’ll know but you. Except they do… Trusting yourself to do what you’re going to do is the best confidence booster of all. And when you don’t, it shows. Don’t be blind to your integrity. Find a way. Honour you.

Do you think the owner of this suburban driveway (down the other end of my street) protests too much? Perhaps. But it’s busy where I live. My bet is they’ve come home tired and hungry after a hard day at work and haven’t been able to park in their own driveway. A few too many times. That’s what happens when you cross someone’s boundary. They let you know. At least you hope they will, so you know what not to do next time. Sometimes it’ll be loud and clear, like with the driveway. Other times it’s more subtle. The point is, we’d rather know. Most of us aren’t in the business of upsetting others. What about your boundaries at work? Is that what you do when your boundaries are crossed at work? Let others know? Or do you have times, like me, when you wish you’d spoken up? It’s normal to make compromises for a job and a career. Even those with ‘successful’ careers have their share of both rewards and disappointments. So, how can you work out when to shake it off (hat tips to Taylor Swift), or when, instead, to stand up and say: “that’s unacceptable”? Especially in

If you’re going to succeed at work, one thing you’re going to want to nail is reading the emotional subtext. You know, the emotional connections and disconnections that we feel, and don’t talk about, as we go about our work. Things like: our wish to be with or as far away as possible from someone our longing to be validated our despair at being ignored.   It’s something you know is there, even if you can’t see it. Just like I couldn’t see the path beneath this fog in the fern garden last week at the Canberra Botanic Gardens. (I snuck in a lovely, little holiday – highly recommend it if you can.) Emotional subtexts are tricky to read. It’s part of the reason leadership principles are often simple to understand, yet not so easy to put into practice. Here are some reasons they’re tricky: Emotional subtexts aren’t easy access. They’re invisible and we can only know them by observing their effects. Relationships don’t stay still. We’re constantly modifying ourselves to accommodate the people we’re with, subtly and often outside our conscious awareness. There’s a lack of language to describe our relationships. Even the term relationship is used to describe

There’s a small and quiet cul-de-sac near where I live. There’s something about it. At first, I couldn’t work it out. I’d seen the neighbours being neighbourly, having friendly chats from their respective front porches. Nice, but that wasn’t it. Then one day it hit me. Each front door is painted a different colour! Did these neighbours have a ‘front door meeting’ and choose? This is the sea green one. There’s also sky blue, pillar-box red, black, canary yellow and steel grey. To me, it looks great. But what makes this cul-de-sac feel so special, is the sense that I’m in a street where, if the front doors and friendly chats are any clue, the neighbours work together, cooperate and contribute. And that got me thinking. This is more than neighbourly. This is like a high performing team – where the total is greater than the sum of the parts. Positive synergy.   The Counter-Intuitive Approach to Creating Your Own High Performing Team At first it’s counter-intuitive, but a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. To build your high performing team, focus on helping each of your team members bring their A-game to the job. For example,

This post is more personal than usual. Three times recently I’ve found myself holding back the tears and not wanting to cry. Different tears, held back in different ways – each way worked. Tears of Sadness One of my Mum’s oldest friends died last week – over 80 years of friendship. Jan was a wonderful and generous woman. At the end of the service, the Rabbi reminded us to not ask her grieving family members how they are. We know the answer. Instead, he says to wish them long life (a Jewish tradition) and share a positive memory. So that’s what I do. And I tell myself, if her husband and children can hold it together, so can I. Tears of Fear The second was waiting for my annual check up with the medical oncologist this morning. I wasn’t happy to see this sign posted on every wall. I’m assuming it means there are more patients. I have to remind myself not to underestimate the challenge of being back in the same room where part 2 of the slash, poison and burn trilogy of treatment started. It’s 8 years post breast cancer for me. It has got easier. It was the

Every year since 2010, we’ve been honouring the disappearing sparrows. March 20 is World Sparrow Day. I miss them. In contrast, the black crow is alive and well. Are you seeing them in ever-increasing numbers too? Unlike the sparrows, they’ve adapted well to our increasingly populated and polluted cities. They particularly like Sunday nights, when they brazenly raid our rubbish bins out for Monday’s collection.   And so I wonder about our fast advancing and ever-changing world. Where the jobs once held by the likes of you and me are being displaced by machines and automation. The bots. We need to adapt. At least there’ll always be a place for people who take charge and inspire the rest of us – with skills that belong in your leader’s toolkit – like listening, clear boundaries and empathy. The ‘softer’ skills that can’t be replaced with efficiency. These skills don’t come naturally or easily, but they are skills that can be learned. For example, my client Lisa wasn’t sleeping well. Turns out, with all the changes at her work, she didn’t need a sleep hack or meditation tip. She needed to adapt and set new clear boundaries, while keeping people onside. I reference her in an article I wrote for Australian Business Insider on the

This is nicely manicured fake grass. With trunk and tree root cut outs. It’s the tidiest section of nature strip in its street. There’s something to be said for tidy. Plus, fake grass needs no watering, or mowing. It’s almost perfect. But, it’s not real. For me, I’d say it’s too perfect, like a Stepford Wife. Donald Winnicott, a British paediatrician and psychoanalyst, helped out mothers trying to be perfect everywhere. He coined the term the ‘good enough mother’ back in 1953. Turns out, for the baby’s development, a perfect mother isn’t a good one… a good enough one is. It’s not too different at work. We often see people wearing a mask. They behave ever so nicely. It’s like they’re trying to be a perfect, idealised version of themselves, as if who they are isn’t good enough. What lies beneath is someone afraid to show their real authentic self. And it’s your job as a leader to make it safe for these mask wearers to show more of who they are. A useful place to start is to think about the consequences they fear if they were to be truly seen. Could it be: Shame? Rejection? Reduced career prospects?   Whatever the

If you’d come with me to Katy Perry’s Witness tour… I bet you’d have liked it too. She’s so good, that even if you don’t like her music, you can’t ignore her. Her reach is impressive. My Vivaldi loving 84-year-old Mum knows who she is! Plus, her music is joyful. She can sing. And her sets are impressive (I liked this roses set – thorns and all). Katy Perry is serious business. Apparently, she’s worth $330m at 33, and the first person to reach 100m followers on Twitter (in June 2017). But what I love more is that she inspires millions of tweens to: not be afraid to be different choose to be a pro because, as she tweets: it’s always a good time to put your best foot forward, and stand strong. She sings: You can’t clip my wings, can’t wilt my flowers.   And why would we want to? In 2016, a Gallup engagement survey found that 82% of employees see their leaders as fundamentally uninspiring. Imagine our workplaces if more leaders could inspire their employees like Katy inspires her KatyCat fans!

It’s winter here, and if you’re lucky, you get to smell Daphne’s divine scent. Lucky because they’re touchy plants. They need perfect drainage and a cool, sheltered spot. I can’t grow it… don’t have that kind of spot. But I discovered this happy specimen inside a driveway. An easy 7-minute walk from where I live. Your team is not so different. Some team members will be touchier than others, but each one needs their own right spot to thrive. As their leader, you can help with that. Some will need more from you, others less and in different areas. That’s why it pays to Goldilocks your leadership… if you want a happy team, focus on getting it just right for each and every one of them.