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I had big Monday morning plans. Gym at 6am. Coffee from my favorite barista a few doors down. And I’d be bright eyed, bushy tailed, and at my desk by 8am. When rest matters more Instead, it’s now 9am after sleeping in until 7am. I woke with a headache and a general grumpiness that I’m sure was very unattractive for all in my midst. Forget gym. I need rest. When self-compassion helps I told myself this rest is self-compassion. You don’t go to gym when you feel unwell! Dr Kristen Neff, a self-compassion researcher, defines it as “being with” ourselves in an accepting way. It has three components: Self-kindness: comforting ourselves. Common humanity: reassuring ourselves that we aren’t alone. Mindfulness: being present with our pain. And then I thought, “I’d never make it as a Navy Seal”. So much for self-compassion. It’s hard to silence that inner critic! Still, I channeled Kristen and went for the gentle approach. I chose to go to my closer, second favorite barista(s). Kevin and Jenny. They own a small local milk bar (just like the old-fashioned corner stores that existed before 711’s replaced most of them). It was Kevin today and he made my

Strong leadership isn’t about not having strong emotions. It’s about being able to stay diplomatic at work; regulated enough to exercise judgement when those emotions are intense. You still feel the anger. Sometimes it arrives fast and hard. The difference is that it doesn’t take over. You remain able to choose what you say, how you say it, and what you leave untouched. That choice often happens in a moment most people wouldn’t even register. This is what that looks like in practice. Meet the protagonist Let’s say you and Mr Rizz work at ABC Inc. Mr Rizz is a recognised expert in your field. Fifteen years your senior. Brilliant technically. Hopeless with administration and uninterested in due process. Because he’s so valuable, nobody really challenges him. When he leaves for DEF Corp, he leaves a mess behind. People clean it up. They’re unhappy, but he’s gone, so they move on. You get the job he wanted Some months later, a senior role opens up at DEF Corp. It’s a significant promotion. You apply, knowing it’s a stretch. Then you hear Mr Rizz has applied too. You assume that’s the end of it. But it isn’t. You get the role.

It popped into my inbox recently, an email from the Victorian WorkCover Authority. It outlined the changes to mental injury claim eligibility and a worker’s eligibility for weekly payments beyond 130 weeks. The upshot? The money tree is droopy. Employee wellbeing is on the agenda. It’s been heartening to see employee wellbeing increasingly on the agenda. It’s even been mandated for organisations to take responsibility for their part in it. For example, ISO 45003 was released in June 2021 – a global standard highlighting organisations are responsible for promoting and protecting both the physical and psychological health of workers. And in February 2024, SafeWork NSW issued it’s Guide: Designing Work to Manage Psychosocial Risks. These risks are described as aspects of work and situations that may cause a stress response which in turn can lead to psychological or physical harm. There’s compensation for significant harm. On the one hand, there is recognition that workplaces contribute to stress (burnout is how chronic, unmanaged stress can show up further down the road). On the other, it has to be so bad that you are significantly psychologically harmed for WorkCover compensation purposes, at least in my home state of Victoria. Specifically, the email

Maslow’s hierarchy is a map, not the territory We love Maslow and his hierarchy of needs. It’s easy to understand, gives us a north star to strive for, and helps us make sense of our world. Just one problem. Our needs don’t fit neatly into that map. Where we meet one need, then the other as we climb the pyramid. Something is missing. But what? It’s missing social connection And then I stumbled upon this article in Psychology Today. The author, Dr Pamela B. Rutledge, suggests that what’s missing in Maslow’s hierarchy is what each of the needs have in common. They need social connection to be met. I thought, ‘hmmm, she’s onto something here’. We’re social creatures. Of course, our needs are met with and through others. But there are many forms of social connection. Think of all your different relationships and how they’re all different. They meet different needs at different times. Something our language fails to capture. If we don’t have the words for something, it’s hard to imagine, let alone communicate. It’d be great if we had the words. Like the Inuit have for snow and ice. Words that draw very subtle distinctions between a very

Remove distractions I’ve been on an efficiency bender lately. And one of the things I’ve been doing is going through all my folders and files. Archiving, trashing, renaming, and reorganising. It’s so I know at-a-glance what I’m looking at and in-a-flash where to find it again. Not the funnest, but hey, if you’re binge-watching The Rookie at the same time, it’s okay. I recommend it. Partly because it saves so much time. Up to two hours a day! At least that’s according to the 2022 survey of 1,043 knowledge workers conducted by The Harris Poll across America. That’s how much time we spend looking for documents, information or people to do our jobs. And besides, one thing people with rizz* do is make you feel like you’re the most important person in their world. It’s easier to be present like that when you don’t have distracting thoughts racing around in your head. Feeling in charge of my files is one less distraction. Capture feelings The other reason I recommend it is because you might just come across something you’d completely forgotten about. I found this little gem of a file with quotes from leaders I’d been working with who were

Attuned leaders know leadership is tricky For starters, leadership is really an umbrella term for so many skills—all those technical and people skills you work so hard to master. And when it comes to people skills, it’s not only other people you have to consider. There’s also yourself. Managing yourself often turns out to be the hardest job of all. But let’s stick with other people for now. They know context matters While you might be a superstar in one setting, with one person, or with a particular team, you can feel like a total fraud or find that you’re struggling with another. In other words, context matters. It’s another reason leadership is tricky. They know relationships matter Leadership isn’t just a set of prescribed skills; it’s about building relationships with people. That too is tricky because relationships are subtle and nuanced, and they don’t stand still. Still, every interaction is an opportunity to bring your best. And it’s worth it. Because, in the end, it’s the quality of your relationships that’ll make or break your career and experience of work. They consider context when connecting Attunement, in the original psychological sense, describes parents’ reactiveness to their babies’ moods and

I want to tell you a story about Jack. You couldn’t meet a nicer bloke. His heart is in the right place, he’s a great operator and CEO, and has a reputation amongst his peers that we can all but strive for. But you wouldn’t want to have been in his shoes. So let’s learn from him. It looks like your dream team. Jack thought he had the dream team. Jill, John, Jacquie, Justin and Jim (I never use real names). And with his dream team in place he had his dream plan – to retire early (in three years time) leaving a legacy he’s proud of. Just one problem. Confirmation bias. Jack was so wedded to the idea that he had everything sorted that he failed to notice the hairline cracks. Hairline cracks don’t get better without treatment, and unfortunately for Jack, he didn’t believe they were there. Not until it was too late. First, Jill leaves. One of Jill’s superpowers is that she’s a canary in the corporate culture coal mine. She knew trouble was on the horizon. In this case, Jack’s plan was far from dreamy for those he’d be leaving behind—old systems no longer fit for

I’m a sucker for fun words. And I learned a new expression last week when my client mentioned that the department they were finding most challenging was like a koala park. I thought: Will this be right up there with white wanting? That is, where Aussie creatures capture the essence of workplace phenomena? So evocative! They somehow convey both the feeling you have and the behaviour you see all at once. A novel and elegant way to express yourself and be understood. Even if, at first, you don’t know what they mean. Because, of course, you simply ask. That’s what I did. I’d never heard the term before. It turns out that having a koala park at your workplace is about as inelegant as you can get. What koala park means in the work context Real koalas are adorable, at least from a distance. But the thing with koalas is that they’re an endangered species. That means, as my client said: you can’t move ’em and you can’t shoot ’em. You’re stuck with them! The other thing with koalas is that they don’t have much energy. When they’re not eating the best leaves they can find, they spend their time

Shared joy is double joy What a day last Friday. Three clients shared their huge wins. One negotiated a salary increase and got more than they were asking for. One was offered the new job they wanted. One held his own with his boss’s boss and earned their respect, at long last. Their new found gravitas a far cry from the humiliation and shame they used to walk away with. All in one day! It was a mighty trifecta. As one of them said, “it might be early but it’s time for wine”. It was 8am. As the Swedish proverb goes: Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow Sharing joy feels great, it’s like double joy. And I can assure you, their news made my day too. Thrilled for them Of course I was thrilled for them. How could I not be? I knew how hard they’d worked. It’s called ‘freudenfreude’, or finding pleasure in another’s good fortune. So much better than ‘schadenfreude’ which is when you find pleasure in someone else’s misfortune. Privately Pleased I went about my Friday with an extra spring in my step and a big grin on my face. I